It's a Mom Thing Reviews & More!: How to be a Perfect Mother

9/13/15

How to be a Perfect Mother


Below is the step by step tutorial of how to be a perfect mother. I hope that you learn as much as you can from each of these tips: 


Number 1: Meds during childbirth is a no-no. It makes you less of a woman. Also, try to stay away from a c-section at all costs because if you do than your child will not be perfect.


Number 2: Do not formula feed, only breastfeed. BUT do not under any circumstance breastfeed in public. And if it is a life or death situation and you must breastfeed in public cover yourself completely or better yet do it in a bathroom stall. 


Number 3: Co-sleeping and sleep training are both horrible and barbaric practices. Do not allow yourself to give in to these. 

Number 4: Do not purchase baby food from the store. Only make your own. Store bought baby food is not good enough for any child.
Number 5: Only use cloth diapers. Disposable diaper brands are out to get you and your child. Do not even consider them as an option, if you do than you are single-handedly causing global warming.


Number 6: Children should be seen, not heard. If your child starts crying or acting up at all in a restaurant, store, or other public place, remove them from the establishment immediately.



Number 7: Only allow children to eat organic products with minimal sugar. If they want anything, and I mean anything, that does not meet those requirements than you must tell them no, 


Number 8: Never let children get their way. Ever. If a child is getting their way immediately return to your original decision, because if you don't they will become spoiled and ungrateful.


Number 9: Do not return to work. If you return to work after having your child than you obviously don't enjoy being a parent. 


Number 10: Also, don't be a stay at home mom either. If you are a stay at home parent than you aren't contributing to the household or being an effective member of society.



Number 11: Going out is a no no. Once your have a child under no circumstance are you allowed to enjoy yourself unless it is with your child. Thinking of going out with friends? Turn yourself around and put your child to bed. Date nights? Think again, the only date night you can have is with your child.


Number 12: When you are with your children do not look at your phone or other electronics. Do not walk away from your children or allow your attention to be on anything other than them for even a minute. You are only allowed to watch your child.

Number 13: THE MOST IMPORTANT STEP OF ALL!
Forget every single thing that I said above and keep being the amazing mom that you are. Ignore society and the impossible standards for parents to live up to and keep being the best parent to your children that you can be. Also, allow your children to be children, allow them to teach you and keep teaching them, enjoy your time together and also your time apart. Just keep loving each other.




*Just in case my sarcasm was too subtle and you took me seriously, I just want to say that numbers 1 - 12 are not my actual opinion.*






2 comments:

  1. I'm perfect in my own way and I did almost every one of those things. It's funny what society tries to tell us about being perfect and how we should raise our kids. My mom did it with me in the 70's and I turned out OK and back then they didn't have 1/2 the things they do now. I'm sure the next generation will be fine too.

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    1. You are totally right and that is why I wrote this :) Society is always telling you how to do things and so much of it depends on the parents. As long as a child is loved and taken care of who are we to judge?

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