It's a Mom Thing Reviews & More!: Five Things that I Learned From my Daughter

7/21/14

Five Things that I Learned From my Daughter


I still remember very clearly the day that I found out I was pregnant. I was nineteen, at work, and scared to death of seeing a positive on the pregnancy test. When I saw the result the first thing that I did was call my boyfriend (now husband) crying that I didn’t know what I do because I didn’t think that I would be a good parent; he lived three hours away from me, I had dropped out of college, and we were nowhere near stable enough in our lives to raise a child. He calmed me down explaining that we were going to be fine, so I trusted him. Becoming a parent at any age brings about so many emotions. You are so excited and happy yet nervous and worried at the same time, I was mostly scared. Scared of how we were going to support ourselves, scared of being a horrible mother, scared that our baby wouldn’t be healthy, I was scared of everything surrounding becoming a parent. There was one thing that I was positive of though from the minute that I found out I was pregnant, that our baby was going to be a girl. Don’t ask me how, I still have no idea, but I was completely convinced from the minute that I saw that positive on the pregnancy test that we were going to have a daughter, which scared me even more. How was I going to raise a little girl? How was I going to make sure that I taught her how to be a successful and independent woman in society when I wasn’t? How was I going to teach her everything that she needed to know? How was I going to help her to embrace her uniqueness and be herself when I wasn’t always that way? I like to think that in my daughter’s five years of life I have taught her a few things, but she has taught me everything that I needed to know about being a mother. Keep reading to see the five most important lessons that Mia has taught me.
  1. You are your daughter’s first role model: When I was younger I was probably the biggest push over you could imagine, I was scared of not fitting it and of not making other people happy. My daughter changed that. If there was one thing that I wanted my daughter to be it was be a strong woman. I wanted her to know that she could take the world by storm and do anything that she wanted to do. Shortly after becoming pregnant I realized that I would be her first role model, the woman that she would spend the most time with in her younger years. If I wanted her to be a strong woman I needed to be a strong woman. I needed to learn to stand up for myself, to stand up for the things that I believed in, to stand up for other people, to be myself and be proud of being myself, otherwise how would she ever do those things. Having a daughter made me a stronger woman.
  2. Children learn about self-esteem from you first but they can teach you a thing or two as well: Society often makes feeling like a beautiful woman difficult, media doesn't always portray women realistically. I learned that for a lot of people self-esteem comes from those around them as well how they learn to portray beauty. I have always told my daughter that beauty is more than what is on the outside, but that doesn't stop her from wanting to feel like she is beautiful on the outside. I always tell my daughter that she is beautiful. I tell her more than just that as well like that she is brilliant, creative, and special, but I always make sure that I tell her she is beautiful. I want her to grow up with the same positive body image that she has now. Children don’t typically have negative body image unless they learn it somewhere. My daughter is willing to run around the house naked, shows me her tummy when it is full after eating her whole meal, doesn't ever comment that she doesn't look good in a certain article of clothing, and she never says no to dessert because she doesn't want to gain weight. Children will continue to have a positive body image if we all help to teach them that they are beautiful no matter what, while teaching them to be healthy at the same time.
  3. Little girls aren’t only about pink and princesses: I remember when I first found out were having a little girl. The ultrasound technician asked if we wanted to know the gender and we said yes, I was positive we were having a girl and she confirmed it for us. We went home and called everyone to tell them and most people had the same reaction, they talked about the cute clothes, pink everything, and “girl” toys. My daughter’s first interest was dinosaurs. Little girls are more than pink, and cute clothes, and princesses; they are our future women. Little girls are future doctors, engineers, scientists, teachers, and more; they are allowed to have interests other than all of those “girl” things, and my daughter proved that. She is five now, and her favorite things are science, bugs, and Pokemon; at the same time her favorite color is pink and she loves to wear poofy dresses and play with dolls. You never know what your little ones are going to love, embrace their uniqueness and help them to embrace it too, encourage their interests even if they aren't what you may have expected.
  4. Express how you really feel: My daughter always tells it how it is. If something upsets her she lets us know. If she didn’t like the way that someone was acting she tells us. She has taught me that sometimes you just need to say what you are feeling and how situations make you feel. Expressing your emotions is necessary, holding everything in isn't good for your emotional health. She has taught me that there is always a nice way to let someone know that they upset you. She knows that sometimes you can’t say exactly what you want to say, but the has taught me that there a lot of times that what you feeling needs to be said.
  5. Not everything can be controlled, enjoy the little things: I am a control freak. Everything in my house has a “place”, I have days of the week that I clean each room, I color code my clothing. My daughter has taught me to let it go sometimes, that life cannot always be controlled, things cannot always be on schedule. Sometimes you just have to say “It’s okay that I am late” or “It’s okay that I didn’t get the laundry done today”.  I remember one of the first times I learned this lesson we were in a rush and late for a doctor’s appointment, but my daughter needed to pick flowers. At first I was being antsy and rushing her to hurry up. The look of joy and happiness as she picked the flowers and handed them to me reminded me though that life is short and any minute can be the last minute that you have with your children. You have to enjoy the little things and let them enjoy the little things too because for them every little thing matters, the little things are important and not so little to them.
Being a mother is the most important job that I have in life. It is up to me to show my daughter that no matter what she decides to be she is exactly what she is meant to be. It is up to me to show her that she is perfectly imperfect in my eyes and that she needs to be perfectly imperfect in her own eyes too. 


14 comments:

  1. Forgive me if this comment is too long. It's just that I can relate to this post in so many ways. I found out that I was pregnant a month shy of my 18th birthday, and when I went to take a pregnancy test, I just "knew" that I was pregnant before those two lines showed up. Like you, I was totally terrified, and for a lot of the same reasons. I also called my boyfriend (now my husband) and he assured me that everything would be fine, even though I wasn't so sure. Today, my son is 7-years-old, and my husband and I also have a 17-month-old daughter together. Your words ring true in so many ways. Growing up, I had such a negative body image, but when my kids were born, I threw all of that out the window and began loving myself and teaching my children to love themselves, too. Being a role model is not only about doing what's right, but also about being 100% yourself. It's amazing how we went from being scared to becoming better people. I loved this post, and I'm happy to have read it. Thank you so much for sharing.

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  2. I agree girls are not always about pink and princesses. My older daughter happens to love both of these along with purple and dresses, but she also loves doing most of the activities my boys enjoy. Your daughter is adorable! Have a great day!

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  3. I have night & day when it comes to girls. My oldest is now slightly on the edge of a girly tomboy, but my youngest is princesses & fashion. They like some common things which is nice, but having two different personalities is awesome! Of course I never thought that my first born would be so much like her dad - it's almost scary! LOL

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  4. This is such a beautiful post! Time flies so fast too. I have 3 kids :)

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  5. I love this post! As a mother of two kids (girls) my daughters have taught me so much! They inspire me on a daily bases

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  6. I love this post! My hubs & I have 3 kids together. My oldest has a problem with being labeled..she has no certain style & wears whatever, hates being called a Gamer "girl", & collects comic books. My youngest daughter I just like yours as well....but she does NOT like pink, loves to dress up w/ a bit of kiddie makeup, do her nails, & then go play w/ the boys in the mud. :p

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  7. This was a beautiful post! I think it's so important to teach your children AND have your children teach you.

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  8. This post has touched me in so many ways I don't even know where to begin. I'll focus on the biggest one for me and that is about self esteem. I suffer from such a low self esteem and didn't realize how much I complain about my body until last week when my daughter, my 4 year old daughter, asked me if she was fat. I literally had to leave the room and cry. Thank you for the beautifully written post.

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  9. These are beautiful photos of you and your daughter. I have learned a lot of things from my kids!

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  10. Such great advice! Your daughter is too cute :)

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  11. I will finally be raising a daughter of my own. My little Alexandra is 9 weeks old. I'm so looking forward to watching her blossom in to her own person. My husband and I got married last August, So I did gain a Step-Daughter that I am trying to be a proper role model for, but starting out that late in her life, is sort of hard (on me probably more so than her). I do have a son though, and watching him grow.... I did whatever I can to help make sure he grows to be a proper, loving, caring young man.

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  12. I was a young mom at 16 .i was a wreck .. was I going to know what to do?? It was scary .. But I love being a mom .My baby is now 30 with a child of her own now .Being a Mom is a whole new world.But watching them grow and learn ..and teach us too..Is priceless

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  13. Love this. LOVE LOVE LOVE!!! It's so important to let our girls find themselves, be themselves, and to encourage them. Tell them they're smart.

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  14. Girls are awesome. They are capable of achieving anything. Mine are awesome teachers, artists and scientists. Love them to bits. So very, very proud to be their mum.

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